i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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