do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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