he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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