So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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