He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
