I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
