just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
