tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
