i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
