I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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