French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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