I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
