People with herpes should wear stickers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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