I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Randomize
