bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
