Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
