I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize