Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
