There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A bitchslap is in order.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
