I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
