I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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