"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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