i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dignity is for republicans.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
