There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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