if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
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Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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