I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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