She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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