True but thats because hes a fetus.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
