the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
