i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Terrible idea I love it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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