I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.