Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.

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(571): View more from Virginia

i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame

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(316): View more from Kansas

his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday

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(513): View more from Ohio

He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay

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(248): View more from Michigan

I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone

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(443): View more from Maryland

if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale

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