Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins