this beer tastes like vomit already
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
