Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You just made me feel so damn special
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
