the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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