I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
