it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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