I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
