we have officially lost it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Randomize
