I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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