with your own penis?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
