My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
