remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize