he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
