please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The adults are the big ones right?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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