Where are you?
In a non slutty way
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
