Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
