JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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