I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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