i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
