like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
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I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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