Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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