this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
