fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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