Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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