Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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