I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
