Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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