i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
