She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize