Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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