Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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