like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
