Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
