I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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