He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
