Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
