I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
