Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
